The smell of anxiousness

Bring back those anxious feelings of my childhood: the distinct smell of dry noodle mixture and seasonings inside the chemical smelling 80’s plastic lunch box. Bring back these feelings of isolation and fear of differences, the fear of rulers and authorities (teachers), and the fear of rules and systems that used to cage me within the school boundaries; where my mother would be on the other side of the gate after they closed it on me to begin this school thing. Where I had cried and cried because I wanted to be back into the arms and comfort of my mom, my home. The lunch time tiffin box was all those things I feared. I still smell it here and there, and my stomach tightens as I sit in my office today and contemplate whether it was worse then, or is it worse now.

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