Honey, I don’t know what’s happening to me. My hands are hurting… my fingers, my wrists. I’m afraid I may not be able to hold you. I’m getting older, day by day. In a matter of time I may be lying in bed, unable to move. I’m looking at my aching hands, and even gloves can’t stop this change from happening.
You may think I know what my body is doing, but I’m clueless– just like you… and I’m afraid, just like you.
Honey, I’m sorry if I ever become weak and bedridden. Darling, I’m sorry when I turn into dust. But please know that my feeling for you is stronger than life itself. From a universe unknown I will carry you when you’re tired. In a universe unknown I’ll be waiting, and we’ll be free.
Let’s debate this with the judge… I didn’t mean to deliberately hurt you. I didn’t… I did cringe during the bicycle ride, but I don’t anymore. I promise. I’ll take back the rose and the note. I’ll take back that odd complement and the failed kiss. I’d pick you over that meat headed guy and appreciate the sheer devotion you had for me. I know we’re having a divorce up here in the clouds and you’re sitting there stubbornly with your arms crossed and you can’t even look at me… but judge! Please tell him I’m sorry; one last time.
The judge looked at him, and he at the judge. Then the judge faced me and said, “he’ll take you.”
A thousand love letters, hundred embraces, a lifetime of passionate silences, billion obsessions, and a child later, he gazed at her warm and familiar eyes as she brushed the greying and thinning strands of his hair with her delicate fingers.
Slowly, she spoke to him, “I think… I don’t like you that much anymore.”
His fantasies came to a sudden halt and his breath shortened. What to do next? He could interrogate her, or start a fight, or rudely walk out. However, he knew her too well, and he knew that she always spoke and behaved honestly. How could anyone be upset by someone’s honesty? It didn’t make sense for him to even inquire. He believed it. If that is how she feels, then that is how she feels, he thought.
He slowly sat up, not bitterly, but because there was nothing else to do now. He put on his jacket and took a deep breath as she remained lying on the bed; her eyes half closed, distant, and listless. He walked down the stairs with hands in his pocket. He needed something new to obsess about, and he thought maybe art would be it.
हिजो बार बजे सूतन गयेको, अनि एक बजे तिर निंद्र लाग्यो… झ्याल मा ठुलो चंद्रमा थियो, अनि 4:50 मा ऊठेको… तेस पछि घुम्या घुमै
Last night at 12 o’clock went to bed, then around 1am sleep came… on the window there was full moon, and at 4:50 got up… afterwards… endless run.
Me… when i’m not in my bed, writing thoughts– if i’m in my bed blandly writing thoughts, but when I’m not in my bed writing because something happened that made me feel inspired to write thoughts, then, it appears– almost everything else is meaningless.