Between the ages of fourteen and sixteen, I was desperately in love with college guys. From the dirty window of my prison school bus, I could see them freely walking around the nearby campus with plaid shirt and loose jeans on, nonchalantly listening to music in their headphones while carrying a low hanging worn backpack. I held my breath and couldn’t wait to go to college. A few years later, I entered the same campus as a student myself and stood there on the sidewalk with my backpack on. But it just wasn’t the same.