Can’t find you

It’s useless; every other emotion
that I’m feeling right now.
I don’t know where to find you.
I’m lost again.
I’m seeking beyond the pages printed with dry scientific words. I’m skimming through the shopping catalog plastered with fake beautiful faces.
It’s faster than the car ride that can’t seem to fly higher; tastier than a meal that just can’t satisfy.
This hunger, for strictly you.
You
smaller than a molecule in the furthest corner of a parallel, deep, dark universe. So much further than tomorrow morning
so nonexistent right now.
This night is cursed and callous,
Everything chokes of dust and death. My throat is calcified, and my skin is pale. I try and try to leave this place
but it’s in my face
like a wall of bricks. I stop and search across it with my fingers.
No you
No you
No you
I don’t know where else to look from here. I’m standing, but I’m so quiet and small.
I’m a blind mice
running down a maze engineered with high walls. Speculated by scientists and the good citizens of the world.
I feel trapped
as if I’m crushed under a ton of weight.
There’s void; monochrome nothingness in my pitch black eyes.
It consumes
This inevitable, hungry, saddening
excruciating feeling
That I can’t find you.

cantfind111.jpg

Advertisements

Changing girlfriends

“Hey, I just wanna let you know that I’m getting a new girlfriend. You never give importance to me or to the things that I value. You never want to do anything together that’s fun or conducive to our relationship. You don’t have any future goals. I don’t even know what it is that you want… from me, from us, from our relationship, our plans, future, anything. We’re losing sight of the things we have in common. For god’s sake I don’t even know what you really enjoy doing anymore. Coming home has become a task. I feel dead or as if I’m dying. I think you’re completely not there for me nor are you beneficial to my mental health. We don’t communicate. You’re not supportive. I have no idea what makes you happy, and the few things that does– god help me– I don’t get it. It’s tiresome. I quit. I’ve moved on. I have a new girlfriend.”
“Does she have better hair than me?”
“…Yeah.”
“I approve.”

20170206_092110-1-1-1-1-1 - Copy.jpg

Love love love love love

I don’t know with who, I don’t know with what
Love love love love love

Overcomes fear
 Anxiety
  Jealousy
   Prejudice
Gives will
 Strength
  Reason
   Purpose
    Excites
Relaxes
Creates trust
Creates insight
 Wisdom
  Understanding
Confidence

Love
Makes you happy.

20160802_heartinthesky (3).jpg

The gift of heaven

I wish I could blow the white clouds towards you
I wish you could see what I see, smell what I smell, feel what I feel
The breeze
The scent of lilac and jasmine
I wish you could see the soaring eagle, high when it passed by
Or smile at the friendly play between bird-mates and bickering white butterflies
Wish you could trace the path of an airplane with your finger
Close your eyes at the sound of the hustling wind and the sight of falling leaves
I wish I could bring the heavens to you at your doorstep
I wish we could immerse in this beauty, side by side
And never go elsewhere