She went down to the kitchen in the morning and chugged a bottle of alcohol from the fridge. Her husband acknowledged her with a glance and stirred his mug of coffee as he watched her walk back upstairs.
A few days later they were at the shrink’s office.
“So what you’re telling me, ma’am, is that there’s a problem in this marriage” said the shrink. The office was sort of dark but there was a bright lamp and some light coming through the windows.
She leaned back into her chair and crossed her leg widely.
“Sort of” she said as she paused. She shifted her legs back down and put her arms over her knees as she clasped her hands together below her chin.
“The problem” she said, “Is that there is no problem.”
The shrink wrote that down. He shifted his dark rimmed glasses and looked up. Then looking back down at his writing he said, “So what you’re telling me, ma’am, is that the problem is that there is no problem.” He looked at her and said, “So there is no problem.”
She rubbed her temples with her fingers as she closed her eyes. She looked back at him, “But that is the problem.”
“No problem is a problem?”
“The problem is no problem.”
The shrink scribbled something on his notepad. He shifted his legs. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again.
“Ma’am you’re telling me, that because there is no problem, you have a problem with not having a problem, and that is your problem?”
The woman tried to calm her nerves and took a deep breath.
“Yes, that is a problem, I have a problem with not having a problem.”
The shrink slammed his pen into the desk.
“And how is having no problem a problem?!” He shouted.
“How could not having a problem not be a problem?!” She shouted back.
“Ma’am, I wouldn’t have a problem not having a problem” he tried to convince her.
“Sir, that is a major, fucking, problem” she told him.
The shrink smoothed his mustache. He looked at the husband and the wife, then he looked at the husband.
“Did you know of the problem?” He asked him.
The husband shrugged, “I wasn’t aware of the problem” he said.
The shrink took some time, wrote something on his notepad, then debriefed. He looked at the husband and said, “Because there is none.” He then looked at his notepad and said, “And that, is the problem” he concluded and underlined.
“Precisely!” The wife sighed with relief. After getting up, she turned to the side and hugged her husband as if something was accomplished. At the end of the day, the shrink made a lot of money. He also reached into his drawer and took some medications as they left.