Holy mornings

Holy mornings, sunlight, brisk air, and your lips
Here, there, everywhere

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Forever in love

Forever in love with you
Like a puppeteer who falls for the puppet
I’ll go where I want to
I’ll go next to you
Walking on the edge, trying not to fall
Imagining strings from up above

Arms wide open, accepting all the showers of blame
That fall like false promises and pieces of burnt ash
There’s lingering distance; an incomplete vase
Eternal rifts and worlds drifted apart
Incomplete songs, half finished thoughts
Visions that burst and turn into dust
Acknowledging all that, with a smile somewhere in my heart

2018-10-28 22.04.17

That marbled pathway

Who are we but bright flames that wane?
Flesh alive and so here now, but can step away from these frames
Far away the evening fragrance lingers
Seeping into deeper woods
Feeling is like morning weather
With windchimes and little bells
Rolling misty haze, kissing our feets
Atop the marbled pathway
Of a holy treasure

2018-10-27 22.26.45

Beauty intervention

“Big sister, how do you like my hair?”
She asks sweetly as she touches the puff of hair on the top of her head. Her hair’s chemically treated straight and painted black.
“Looks good dear” I respond.
She gets up and stretches down the tight skirt she’s wearing, as I stare in disbelief. I can’t believe she has the guts to walk down the street wearing that. My aunties are aging and busy caking makeup over their faces in the meanwhile. They’re gonna walk arm in arm with her proudly down the street so that everyone can stare at them. All of a sudden, they divert their attention randomly at me and talk about how horrible I look.

“Wear some makeup! Dress better! Fix your hair! Don’t you want to stand out?”

Those days are gone. I’ve lost that kind of interest. I’m no longer a teenager. I don’t need that type of attention anymore. Everything feels too late. It just feels different nowadays.

I say, “Don’t need to” apathetically and continue to recline on the bed. I feel like a faded, colorless fish. The fancy and glamorous girl in me, dead for years.

My aunty’s large eyes grow massive and she comes to grab me by the arm, “Get over here! I’m not going to let you embarrass us!”

My aunties hold me down and style my hair, smoothe out my eyebrows, and give my clothes a fitting. I enjoy beauty sessions with them. However, I managed to get away with not getting my face caked with makeup.

“Oh my god, look at how pretty she looks now!” they all congratulate themselves. They rave about how much they’ve improved me.

It’s an odd yet a special feeling. Around my young-at-heart aunties, I’ll always be a little kid that needs fixing… no matter how much we all age together…

My aunt grabs me by the waist and makes me sit on her lap like an overgrown baby, and we pose for a picture, with genuine smiles.

2018-10-27 09.32.07

Money mania

It’s not fun to wake up feeling like you lost your job while you’re out. Unfortunately, maybe what I’m feeling is felt by many who just can’t take a break from the cut-throat world. We’re turned into workaholics and maniacs, robots and scumbags. When we step away, it somewhat lingers deep inside our skin like a virus in remission.

Responsibilities, obligations, tasks…. Blaaaaaahh. Can’t even say blah because there will be robots who get offended by someone saying that. They’re so conditioned to believe that being boring is the righteous way. Why care? Why can’t the world be more simple like the way it used to be? I’m mad at the world. I’m upset that money is the driving force. I feel sorry for them all.

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Vegetable seller

When I was a kid, I reclined near the balcony door under the sunlight and overheard the veggie seller shout out vegetables he was selling for the day.

Such a lively thing it was; the crows were crowing… the birds were chirping, dogs barking, music playing, people talking, cars honking, kids yelling, bells ringing, whistles blowing… there were even monkeys screeching from trees somewhere.

I lived and thrived off noise.

It’s 2018, and I once more hear the vegetable seller repeatidly shout out the vegetables he’s selling as he walks down the sleepy neighborhood mid day.

I loved it, and I still love it. It makes me happy to know that some things haven’t changed since childhood… even though I’ve moved on and my realities have shifted.

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