I want you

Dirty
In colors, smeared all over your face
Colors dusted on your clothes
I want you shaking off swamp waters
And dripping holy sweat
I want to line your face
From your eyes to your ears
In black kohl
I wanna put you where you belong
On a pedestal chair overlooking
Ripped scraps and banana peels
I wanna get down on my knees and worship you

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Apologizing does not make you weak

This is just a reminder to myself, actually, but maybe it can help someone else out too. I’m not usually the one who gets caught in a drama fight, but once in a while it happens out of… I don’t know, boredom?

Let me spill out my imperfections (it’s who I am, I’m aware of it): I sometimes speak a bit roughly–bluntly–get to the point–whatever you want to call it. I like to be raw with my feelings and my intentions. It’s not meant to hurt someone deeply; it’s just me trying to “keep it real.” I almost feel like they’d understand because (this is a bit sappy and theoretical lol) in my heart I love everyone and believe everyone thinks the same too. However, sometimes, they don’t; and things get lost/miscommunicated in translation.

“We are judged by our behaviors, not our intentions” wrote someone. Although I don’t think we should live our lives worrying about being judged, we’ve been too conditioned otherwise.

Even though we may speak rawly but have good intentions underneath, it can hurt someone. Just be careful how you speak; if you also happen to be a raw speaker. People can translate it into a lot of different things, and it will negatively impact you.

I often debated whether I should apologize for something I shouldn’t apologize for. Just do it. It doesn’t matter who was right; a feeling got hurt. Be a wise person, apologize. Let your guard down.

Psychos with red hair

I’m not really talking about those who were born with red hair, but I’m talking about those who color their black hair red while going grey with the belief that the red will make grey less obvious while not actually making it black because putting black on black hair would give it away. They’re sort of goofy looking; they can have some remaining grey hairs on the sides that never got dyed, so now they’re left with all three colors of black, grey, and red hairs and look like clowns. They’re also pretty OCD; taking multiple showers a day, shaving constantly, repeating lame jokes, etc. They wear their pants high up, walk around shirtless with a towel hanging off a shoulder, and they’re always chewing on candies. They also love tea, and make it minimum five times a day including one at 10pm promptly. Maybe one at 2am too, who knows, since everyone is asleep by then. Because they’re on antipsychotics, it’s a joy to make tea. They stutter songs out of tune and forget/make up lyrics and grind ginger and other spices on mortar and pestle. It makes them feel like it’s morning and that they’re right on track with life; when they’re busy making tea at 2am. It’s usually a jolly song and there’s loud thumping sounds coming from the mortal and pestle. All weirdos love tea and feel that it’s always tea time, it’s a fact.
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