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Sales pitch

He came back to his fast-paced consulting job after a costly trip to the Bahamas with his wife and two kids. He flew in the night before, and the next morning he stood in front of his new clients. They attentively looked at him while he tried to sell an ambiguous product. With much practice and experience, he had several tag lines all lined up to generate the hype. Using honesty as a tactic, he told his customers that he was strictly fueling on an energy drink since he had just returned from vacation the night before and hadn’t gotten enough sleep. He also let them know that he was only there physically, and was somewhere else mentally. Several members of the audience stared at him like pit bulls and were ready to interrogate him on the meaningless product that he was going to get them to buy. He clapped his hands and said, “Ok! Let’s begin.” He then said, “But first, can you please push the play button?” He lowered his head in front of a female client. She thought for a second, then pressed on the middle of his forehead. They shared a laugh, and he began talking.

Missed connection

Hi. I was nine years old during my stay at the hospital from a broken leg, and you were probably around that age too. Per request, the nurse brought in a Nintendo to my room for me to play Mario Bros. II one day, and you joined in to play. I was the mushroom and I wasn’t really paying attention to the game and I was just excited about the fact that I was sitting next to a boy. Do you remember me? Bye.


What do you want to be when you grow up?

“I wanna be a fighter jet pilot”
“I want to be an astronaut”
“I want to to be a doctor!”
“I want to be a lawyer”
“I want to be a computer whiz”
“I want to be a teacher”
“I want to be an accountant”
“I want to be an actor”
“I want to be an artist”
“I want to be a marine biologist”
“I want to be the first female president of the United States”
“I want to be a sexy private dancer”