Lottery in heaven

Hey, there’s nothing wrong! What’s “right” after all? Nothing bad about a bit of color and numbers that indicate some sort of a foreseeable prize ahead of you! You bet! After all, this is gambling
But it’s not bad, because it’s gambling in heaven!
Chillax, have some wine, have a cigar and roll up your sleeves! Let’s roll some dice, scratch out some numbers, and add a little point up! But remember, it’s not bad because it’s in heaven!
It’s all good and dandy here!
You can bet as much as you want, you can bet it all!
It’s all good clean fun! Lottery lottery lottery!
Yayyy yayyy yayyy.
Let the bell ring, let the whistle blow! Let’s dance arm in arm n’ get it done!
Yes we can! Success success success!
Win win win!
Get ’em sonnnn!
And then let’s spend the rest of our lives rolling the luck away! Mmmm the sweet smell of tobacco smoke and people’s cough. But hey you knuckleheads, it’s lottery time in heaaaveennn! Come on and get that winning boy grin going! We’re in heaven, it’s alllll cleaaann funnn!

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Harsh realities of losing hope

Worn out and walking around
Trying to open my eyes. All around, there’s the blind leading the blind and chickens with their heads cut off; whatever you want to call them.

I’m caught in a slew of nothingness, or just too many things happening all at once. There’s no fine balance,
but a brutal divide.

Cruel capitalist world for someone whose heart is set on riding a hay wagon. You may think “that’s so 1800s,” but I developed roots from parts of the world that still do that. That’s where my heart is… in the simple things, primitive basic work, hand sewn clothes… and the utter desire to feel human. I wash my hair with rye flour to do that.

But I’m hit with the harsh realities that people have been hit with
During the time of the agricultural revolution
Or the industrial revolution
Or the capitalist sweep and the degradation of everything.

I’m standing still in the moving crowd. The business people are actively, actively seeking to destroy the environment for imaginary money and fast cars. The civilian stomach growls,
waiting to be fed cheese and bacon. Majority of the world sleeps inhaling the comforting scent of synthetic compounds, and the rest of the world is headed there.

In days like these I feel hopeless. Like an ant holding onto a massive leaf. An insect trying to crawl against a landslide…
A drop of sunshine during mid winter.
A handful of crowd against a multi-billion population.

What I have to say is so meaningless.

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Environmental injustice

I feel like you’re taking my asset for your gain
The air I breathe, what I feel, what I eat,
All for your profit
And it annoys and aggravates me
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Surely dying

I’m sitting here on the empty Jacuzzi staring at the ceiling with water droplets spritzing near my face, as I try to feel fulfilled. In my room, I spray all types of scents to calm my senses but it just numbs me down. I have every material thing that I want and I make a lot of money for a chick who claims to not need a lot. I turn on the bright blue therapy light that mimics sunlight to feel like I’m sitting under the sun. I meet a lot of people every day whom I don’t call my own. I have the love of my two parents but I want a big family that’s fifty times bigger and will have my back. I have the guy that adores me but I also want one who doesn’t. I’m climbing the capitalist ladder but I believe in socialist type stuff. I’m maintaining my status as a whatever, but it’s just killing me inch by inch. I don’t take pills, smoke, or drink to cope but that doesn’t mean I’m happier. I can’t follow spiritual leaders and luminaries who say pretty things because in the end they’re just humans like me. I can’t support any religions with an open heart because they talk too much of discipline, but I’m fueled by instinct and desire. I have realistic aspirations now and still want to do significant things for the future, but I don’t if I don’t have to. I can have kids if I want to but I may just let my body shut down. There are twelve months in a year and eight of them are already over and I can’t get the past three or four years back.

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