Can’t get myself to cry
…it’s been over years…
over something that’s left
the memories blur and dissipate to the ground
I’m trying to knock myself alive
cry a little more, scream a bit
love a lot
but I’m left dissipating too;
dispersing with the winds themselves
trying to attach to whatever that may come my way
the dew on grass
just anything that’s still there
barechested and green
willing to take it all
as I’m willing to fall way down
Tonight, there’s no star outside. Just me in my dark room sitting on the floor. I could meditate and do a pose or two. I could stare at the wall in the dark. Or have some pomegranate and cry like I had done nine years ago. That was awesome… actually, it was sort of fun. To cry while eating pomegranate. I’m telling you, make that one of your goals in life.
I guess it’s not bad to do weird things once in a while. Go ahead; don’t sleep. Sit on the floor in the dark and just ramble. Just do it at 3 am. Just you and the stars that are far away and that can’t be seen on cloudy nights. Ramble to yourself; ramble about lovers. His eyes, his lack of words, his honest answer. That’s the most attractive thing I guess; someone who’s so honest with their feelings. If they like your hair, they’ll say they like your hair. If they care about your love life, they’ll ask about your love life. They’re attentive to what you wear and they’ll comment on it. It’s that type of honesty that’s lovely. Not sweet words dubbed in euphemisms. Get to the heart of the issue, dig to the core. By saying nothing else, and just that one thing that you wanna hear that triggers something from something like, ‘you look great tonight.’ Just words that mean everything; like a vision of cascading fresh spring waterfall drenched on an unearthly high spirited maiden from dreams.
That’s what point blank words mixed with a lack of words do. Only real things. Body, flesh, love, hands, saliva, spank, hold, taste. Go out and walk in nature during the day. Talk about nothing. Absolutely nothing. And when you do talk, say just the things that are honest
the only things that matter
you turn me on.
What happened last night?
Well, I woke up at 3 am, ate pomegranate, and cried my eyes out. Couldn’t really go back to sleep after that. The only thing that relaxed me was the thought of how large and gorgeous your light brown eyes looked near the bright windows, and how I wanted to wear a crisp white bathing suit and smooth dive into them from a sky high diving board.