And then it dawned on me

that I don’t have anything meaningful in my life but these paintings

Distressed

Perpetually bound to be

Casual love

Casual love, I believe in that deep love, I believe in that too polygamous love, I believe in that, but I’m starting to believe in random, casual love more deep monogamous love, I believe in that too casual deep love, I believe in that    

The feeling of love

I believe in you I believe that you’re real I can be so stoic sometimes but when I have emotions, I know that they’re real I believe in this I believe that this love is real it penetrates the deepest of impermeable layers it runs from head to toe I’m nonexistent without it there’s nothing

You keep catching me

I know who I love. It’s you; fragile and in pain, lonely, needing to be saved. Your desperation is my awakening. I can’t imagine you a happy boy. So long lost, so strange and foreign. So not you. When you look at me, do you see desperation too? Do see yourself; do you see someone

Bleeding green

Can’t get myself to cry …it’s been over years… over something that’s left this samsara the memories blur and dissipate to the ground I’m trying to knock myself alive cry a little more, scream a bit love a lot but I’m left dissipating too; dispersing with the winds themselves trying to attach to whatever that

Pure heart

The twists and turns in your hair give away the thousand year history untold the smile on your face warms every warm blooded’s beating heart eons of bond, shared blood, genes that connect you to everything every sea on earth all the star dust above clouds, far, far away the twinkle in your eyes, diamonds

This height

It was this height There was glow There was flight And then we die

Being called a doll in London

I was so ecstatic, and apparently, I still am. Had never been called a Doll before. They just hardly say it in the part of the US that I’m in. Maybe they say it in the south? I remember when I was called Honey as a kid. I remember thinking, ‘I am?’ and reading more

Falling paper pieces

When it happens the first time, it soars but it’s happened before this feeling of synchrony as we smiled and rode on by but this time it was a bit different making it a first time, again it was the calmness the quietness the substance that leaves you guessing as we split paths and think

Lottery in heaven

Hey, there’s nothing wrong! What’s “right” after all? Nothing bad about a bit of color and numbers that indicate some sort of a foreseeable prize ahead of you! You bet! After all, this is gambling But it’s not bad, because it’s gambling in heaven! Chillax, have some wine, have a cigar and roll up your

Unstructured life

There are people who are holding it down, day after day. Comfortable in this foreseeable goal; go to sleep on time Work Be a good parent… To be an unstructured person, on the other hand; it wasn’t god’s gift. To be trained to follow rules makes you more structured. You got your rights and your

Where you are

You’re calling for me In this corner of the cell where there’s nothing But walls You’re in my head You’re wanting my company I can feel it barely tingle like some current running through a wire in the brain I stare at the wall when there’s nothing there But the more I stare, I feel

Convo about caterpillars

I don’t even remember his name, but we participated in a really boring field research job in college. I worked with him quietly for a couple of sporadic days, and one day, I just decided to randomly ask him: “So if a caterpillar falls from an airplane, is it gonna die or will it bounce

Rock the boat

Daylight, turns into sweet night light Your face, shines in a new type of light Your smile, is the only thing I think of In the new dawn It stayed; it lingered on the dance floor You said, you want to see me dance some more In a dream I left, not caring what you

Yin Yang

Maybe it’s time, I don’t know, it happens every late morning And once in a while before bed… This feeling of total control over my life It’s like magic, with tricky hands I can see where the ball strikes next And wins. It’s like that in your harried presence It’s your commanding glare Looking at

Diffuse apart with you

Yearning Is a wish to be free There’s a lot of pain, and you slowly die in the process It’s as if you no longer have control over yourself And all your molecules; all the pieces of love that make you diffuse into the ground, as you sink in I can’t gather you, wrap my

Last one at the end of the circle

It’s another season, and the planets have run down that same old circle. You’ve packed your bags and moved up to another mess, and me, it’s come down to me kneeling on the ground gasping for air, unable to breathe, dying. This is me. The one who’s supposed to get it. But what do I

Red planet

Here I am, in the red planet. The atmosphere here stings my skin as I sit alone in this arid dust bowl. The sky’s red and it’s making my eyes bleed. My crimped hair’s brittle and it obscures my vision. My throat’s dry and I squirm on the rocky ground in dreams of quenching thirst.

Can’t find you

It’s useless; every other emotion that I’m feeling right now. I don’t know where to find you. I’m lost again. I’m seeking beyond the pages printed with dry scientific words. I’m skimming through the shopping catalog plastered with fake beautiful faces. It’s faster than the car ride that can’t seem to fly higher; tastier than