Maybe when I’m bedridden one day I’ll remember the days when I could move and do whatever I wanted to do; go out in nature, be active, ride my bicycle through the off roads. Lay in the fields, be as naked as I could be
Let the air kiss and lick my salty skin; so full of sweat
Let my hair flow long with the winds
Immerse one’s self with the grass and the weeds; turning into something green
Let bugs crawl, sting, and pinch
All over goosebumps
Be one with it all
Unlock the love that you have in your gut and let it spread into everything and everyone
Kiss the trees
Whisper to the butterflies
Chuckle at the hares that hop on by
Feel your smooth skin
Here today, gone tomorrow
Look at the sky
Is a slice of green earth right here
Squeamish, excited, appreciative that they’re here.
What a shitty century I’m living in. Clasped under pillars and pillars of concrete or suffocating over acres and acres of pesticide plagued green lawns. Boys in fast cars make their engines very loud, and when they push that pedal down, they rattle everything in town.
I walk down the “preserved marshland” that solely exists to drain neighborhood storm water. I spot a few deer and birds along the way, but they always run or fly away, and it saddens me. They don’t trust me ’cause I’m human, and I don’t blame them because my kind has turned ever more ruthless… as they bulldoze everything their way. I wonder what it’d be like to live like Mogli or Tarzan and gain the trust of animals. I’d learn their language. Learn to jump around from tree branch to tree branch like an orangutan. Drink from the waterhole during animal truce time. Forage for fruits and share it with my fellow animal homies. Fuck for the rest of the day… that is if there was a chick who happened to come by the jungle, befriended me, and if I was a dude. Or why not the hell I just stay a chick and hope some dude walks by and befriends me. I’d be fit and healthy. I’d have a tribe of animals by my side.
The purpose would be jungle. Gather to live and live to love. Appreciate nature that sprouted me here to belong in this world. There’s no fee to get shade from a tree. There’s no need to consume over a thousand extra calories than what my body is naturally meant to sustain. There’s no need for gimmicks and makeup. There’s no pressure to look white. Scream in your tan skin, bare your yellow teeth, stick your tongue out and do scary savage shit. Uncomb your tangled hair, flare your nostrils and squint your eyes. Growl like the animals. Scare the humans away.
Laugh ’till you’re dead.
I’m so sorry my dearest… who ever’s done this to you.
I hate the world on days like this.
Tree kisser for lifetimes
I became a real vegetarian six years ago. The thought of someone suffering overpowers the taste. Little by little I’m noticing that I don’t need much at all.
Clutter binds me; I want to detach myself from things that I don’t use. I don’t care to put on too much makeup, I don’t care too much about fashion…
I just want to have natural and genuine relationships with people. Maybe that’s why in parties I seem happy, because I am… letting myself get questioned. But every time I feel the pressure to behave like how I should, I clam up.
Deep in the forest, by the cave, I sit with animals who keep me company from the distance. We don’t say a word and we don’t touch at all, but I feel like they’re listening to the melody of my heart. I look at a hare and think that I could never hurt it. The hare hops away to do what it does in order to live. I look down and play with rocks in my hand. The sun manages to beam through the tree branches into the woods. It feels so lonely out here once in a while. With whatever little I have left, sometimes I feel like I myself am disappearing. I walk the forest trails following this strong, invisible thread of love. I push through the leaves and look as far as I could to see if I could find him. I don’t know if it even leads to anywhere, but it’s the only thing that gives me hope.