My man, meadows

The sea side is far from here. The meadows sway in their own faint little tunes. This grain matches my mustard color sweater. I like the color of the sun; the way the light reflects across the sky in beams and touches my sweater. If you were to look closely into my eyes, you’d see the reflection of the blue sky that I’m glancing at. I can’t help but somewhat smile. I feel that he is here. That he knows just where to find me over these hills. Today’s a beautiful day, and I can’t help love this beautiful earth with its majestic colors… I guess I’m a pauper. I’d rather lie out here and live to live like this, and die like this. I never want to be in a different state. I wouldn’t know myself when I’m angry. It isn’t who I think of. Skin red and hot, flushing blood. And the speed at which I run, running away, running towards. This lust for power… no. I just want to be in love forever. Your heart is so genuine, and so lost we are together. Your eyes, there’s a spiral staircase in them that goes somewhere. I’m lost. I lose. There’s a white flag rising next to me; I’m no fighter. You, the world that created you, this world that we’re lying atop; this is all that ever means anything, this is all that I’ll ever remember. I don’t even expect you to find me here, you’re with me everywhere.

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Can’t find you

It’s useless; every other emotion
that I’m feeling right now.
I don’t know where to find you.
I’m lost again.
I’m seeking beyond the pages printed with dry scientific words. I’m skimming through the shopping catalog plastered with fake beautiful faces.
It’s faster than the car ride that can’t seem to fly higher; tastier than a meal that just can’t satisfy.
This hunger, for strictly you.
You
smaller than a molecule in the furthest corner of a parallel, deep, dark universe. So much further than tomorrow morning
so nonexistent right now.
This night is cursed and callous,
Everything chokes of dust and death. My throat is calcified, and my skin is pale. I try and try to leave this place
but it’s in my face
like a wall of bricks. I stop and search across it with my fingers.
No you
No you
No you
I don’t know where else to look from here. I’m standing, but I’m so quiet and small.
I’m a blind mice
running down a maze engineered with high walls. Speculated by scientists and the good citizens of the world.
I feel trapped
as if I’m crushed under a ton of weight.
There’s void; monochrome nothingness in my pitch black eyes.
It consumes
This inevitable, hungry, saddening
excruciating feeling
That I can’t find you.

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