We kiss in the middle of an enclave
Swirl of hurricane floats around us
It’s such a gentle spin
There’s pieces of hearts and stars and peace signs
There’s sprinkles of rainbows
All free falling, in such harmony
There’s just you and me
It’s dark outside and there are night owls hooting. There’s sounds of bats and the rustling of leaves amid darkness and chilly winds. I don’t know what’s happened to me. I lean closer to my lover and he comforts with his strong embrace. Inside the warmly lit room, we’re safe under covers from the unknown outside. I dig into his arms deeper. He holds me tighter as my heart rattles with fear with each passing sound from the creatures outside. In the deep dark corners of my mind, I’m forever alone. I’m forever left in some dark pit trying to gather myself together. My teeth chatter and I close my eyes behind crinkly hair that covers my face. My clothes are wet and I feel helpless; as if the only thing that could ever save me is death that might come during sleep. I try and try to disappear, but I just can’t. He holds until I get out of that world, and I feel my heart racing against his chest. He tells me I’m safe but I don’t believe it. I wonder if these things will ever leave me. I may be trapped I say, he’ll save me, says he. He rocks me ’till my heart slows down. But when I close my eyes, it comes back to me. There’s a prison where I live and hear the strange sounds again and again. I’ve been living there for twenty-three years and I just can’t take it. There’s either now or there’s forever like this. There’s choices that I’ve never fathomed existed. I see the gate before me, but it takes guts to get up and check if it’s unlocked. Sweat trickles down my face but I’m tired and I want to be set free. Whatever sound it is that I hear, I must let it ring all through me and between me if it doesn’t stop. These burning eyes of mine obscure my vision, but I must see through them. Amid the screams I push open the prison gate with ease. It was never locked to begin with. I watch the wide unknown looming in the darkness, and take a breath. It’s now that I free myself.
My lover is asleep amid the lamp light. The owls hoot like always as I look out the window. I open the bedroom door and walk down the dark stairs. I open the main door of the house and hear the rustling of the autumn winds that I despise. I stand into the open, look at the pitch back surrender, and walk outside.
Wow. I don’t think
I’m in love
Is a wish to be free
There’s a lot of pain, and you slowly die in the process
It’s as if you no longer have control over yourself
And all your molecules; all the pieces of love that make you
diffuse into the ground, as you sink in
I can’t gather you, wrap my arms around you, save you
I myself don’t know who I am
I can only fall apart
And let pieces of my self diffuse apart
Hold your hand
And disappear with you
Whiff of summer breeze
Dipping into vast, cool water
Encloses shy skin like some secret seal.
Encircling ripple in velvet motion, expanding larger and larger
Hair rolling away further… further
Plunging like a fish, letting fin disappear
Raising like dolphin over sizzling sweet air.
Falling back, playful feet flip and splatter
Scattered dew drops on lashes tingle and drench
Sky above so blue with moon laughing over
Airplane and birds greet and circle under
As the sun sets on the side, pouring into the pool of wonder.
Easy rock and lull afloat blissful surrender
Minuscule being amid an endless suspension
Free at last, and one with water
Thirst of the body, submissively quenched.