Ignorant Ingrid

“I just kind of… did it, you know? It was one of those situations where you just sort of… roll off a train, and just land here. That’s how I ended up settling out here.”

“… well that’s dumb”



Hot new ryyde

Guys, I have a hot new ride. It may not be Mercedes, Jaguar, or Porsche, but it gets me to the grocery store where I can buy a carton of almond milk and a box of cereal.



Changing girlfriends

“Hey, I just wanna let you know that I’m getting a new girlfriend. You never give importance to me or to the things that I value. You never want to do anything together that’s fun or conducive to our relationship. You don’t have any future goals. I don’t even know what it is that you want… from me, from us, from our relationship, our plans, future, anything. We’re losing sight of the things we have in common. For god’s sake I don’t even know what you really enjoy doing anymore. Coming home has become a task. I feel dead or as if I’m dying. I think you’re completely not there for me nor are you beneficial to my mental health. We don’t communicate. You’re not supportive. I have no idea what makes you happy, and the few things that does– god help me– I don’t get it. It’s tiresome. I quit. I’ve moved on. I have a new girlfriend.”
“Does she have better hair than me?”
“I approve.”

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