How the hell does one do it?

How the hell does one do it? Age gracefully. How do you manage to spin and flow as you dive? As you die?
How do you make the best out of winter? How do you cook food and manage kids? Slap on a smile around your family? Pretend to listen to your friends? Sacrifice the time that you could be sitting underneath a tree all depressed, by hanging out with people that you don’t want to deal with?

How do you stand up tall and preach morality, and live a lie to yourself day after day? Get moving on coffee every morning so that you don’t fall asleep in the daylight? Make money and blow it all on retail therapy, games, watches, phones, vacations, cars, and expensive pets. On a box of pizza slathered with cheese and grease.

How do you chain smoke and not hurt your throat 24/7?
Don’t you ever get mad because the world is as is it right now?
Can you put on a colorful jacket on a rainy day and walk the grey, dark, cold streets without an umbrella just to feel alive? Or would you rather have tea parties with a bunch of freaks and have a good time. Would you be willing to lose it all over a bottle of wine. Would you lose your house and a car and walk the streets naked. Would you live to tell about it.

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Silences, joys, battles

There’s a period of joy, there’s a period of battle, there’s a want for silence. There’s silence; there’s want for joys and even battles. There’s joys, there’s want for battles. There’s battles, there’s want for silence. There’s silence
There’s want for joys and even battles for god sakes.
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Three guys, all f’d Up

Her life was getting miserable-r, just like anybody else’s, but while getting into that cavity that one falls into in the back of their minds; that cavity that makes everything a thousand times more horrible and painful; she had a thought– there were others too, just as miserable.
They live perfect lives and always have something missing inside. Product of a complex world. Less time using hands, more time forming thoughts that have no basis
No relative thing to hang on to.

He leads a perfect life and has everything else, but he still misses that. That time when he used to care less about everything. Now he realizes he’s old and is only growing older, and now he would do anyyythinnngggg
Anything
To get it back. It only took over a decade for him to realize how much time he had lost.

Then there’s him. Running on diet Pepsi. Needing it every five minutes to wake up. Mundane drive around town, mundane job and a slow life. He’s got all the time in the world and it’s always spent on useless stuff. When the sun hits his head from the side, he could look like a star of all sorts. He’s got a skinny body and a tiny head; you could put a cape on him and call him superman. He hops into his beat-up car and sputters off. There’s bills to pay, other odd end jobs to find, possibly a nice girl to hope for, and the pursuit of god damn happiness.

Then there’s that guy. Everything’s going right for him, but it’s just those other a-holes that ruin it for him. He just needs his box of food and a night of watching sports with his curtains all closed. He just needs a girl to make herself ready for him at all times. There’s no concept of time. There’s no rush for anything, there’s no aim. There’s just eating, breathing, fucking, and using the toilet. If the world would let him, he’d eat a box of pizza forever and grow forever into a ball. They would roll him down the stairs, roll him down the streets; he wouldn’t care. That’s life for ya. It’s just others who have it all jacked up. What a bunch of losers.

Thus, in the end there’s nothing to be happy about, and yet even more, there’s nothing to be sad about knowing that everyone is just as miserable as the other. There really could be no misery when misery is the norm. She saw the guy gulp in the bottle of Pepsi to get a kick start on his life. She saw the reflection of the dude in a car trying to race back in time. She saw the fat dude reading about sports in his phone with apathetic eyes. Dim sunlight, fading reflections in time, slow moving speedy car rides. Stars in our eyes. Buzzing delusions, vacant dreams. Our faces converge and we look at one another. There’s a sense of wonder, but there’s an ever greater sense of hopelessness. We ride down the road together, our heads rocking around.

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