Tonight

Tonight, the streets were empty and the lights were too dim
and I was feeling that same type of feeling; unknowingly alone and negligibly desperate
but I didn’t need a man so much to save me
to bring life back into me; give me purpose, make me feel alive.

It felt like walking alone in an arid desert storm. The only things to hear you are the howling winds
that brush past your hardened skin
and try to thud your apathetic heart.
It was mechanic, emotionless, and mundane
but it was it
and I was I
making love with void once again
swaying with its blackness
being it
not fighting this feeling of distance and aloneness
A feeling that used to subconsciously scare me
needing any spare boys to earth me
now, watching the empty streets from the car window
feeling my skeletons protude with the passing time
wondering what the universe’s thinking

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I’ve made you my man

I’ve made you my man
in my delusional mind
no, I’ve made you my god
I look up to you, floating in a heavenly ocean
and you can never break me
because you will never know

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Friendly gestures

Silent eves
with the rain drops, beside us
no words, just time to kill
cradled in your arms
save me, I’m a helpless little thing
and I trust you; your warm hard body
we’re like glue here; there’s no space in between
I couldn’t stand it otherwise
you let me be so needy, and I so need it
soft sweet kisses from you
like scented roses
I could wrap around you for decades
I never want to not do it
hold me tighter and tighter and tighter
keep kissing sweet kisses
mmmm

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Sunny day outside the smoky room

I sit up on the bed amid a sea of skeletons
there’s smoke in the air that blurs vision and the sunlight hides behind smelly old curtains
I’ve been feeling like a a blank canvas
and that was ok; it was better not to feel than to feel
the door’s shut from outside, blocking all their echos and voices
it’s best to avoid anything at all costs in this dreary heavenly escape

amid the dim lights and the distant color of dust and smoke in the air,
there’s this image of your random eyes
how big, dark, and happily squinted they were in the mirror
those joyful, fun, playful eyes
full of life; livin’ your rock star life
straight out of some movie you are
how far your life and how far mine
yet at one point, neighboring kids of the same time and space
I romanticize your Anthony Kiedis from Red Hot Chili Peppers type of life
stay there in sunny Cali paradise
I’ll think of your jovial ride
while sinking calmly in the dark smoky pool of air

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Like rain clouds

Won’t sleep tonight
thinking about your soft hair
like rain clouds…

I understand that things are slow
and your heart beats
weighed and heavy
while I bloom in orange, before you
stay quiet, speak to me in silences
like you do
times are gloomy like the rain, I know
this path before us; it’s faux, we know
but dance with me in my dreams
we got a little time
it’s like magic
stay under my arms
sway with me
sing sweetly, with me
please
it’s so easy for us
isn’t it?
It’s so natural
so predictable
it’s so slow, so gentle, warm, tingly
soft, erect
stay this way for me
silent and rainy
amid my fixation with you
from afar

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Ramble to yourself, ramble about lovers

Tonight, there’s no star outside. Just me in my dark room sitting on the floor. I could meditate and do a pose or two. I could stare at the wall in the dark. Or have some pomegranate and cry like I had done nine years ago. That was awesome… actually, it was sort of fun. To cry while eating pomegranate. I’m telling you, make that one of your goals in life.

I guess it’s not bad to do weird things once in a while. Go ahead; don’t sleep. Sit on the floor in the dark and just ramble. Just do it at 3 am. Just you and the stars that are far away and that can’t be seen on cloudy nights. Ramble to yourself; ramble about lovers. His eyes, his lack of words, his honest answer. That’s the most attractive thing I guess; someone who’s so honest with their feelings. If they like your hair, they’ll say they like your hair. If they care about your love life, they’ll ask about your love life. They’re attentive to what you wear and they’ll comment on it. It’s that type of honesty that’s lovely. Not sweet words dubbed in euphemisms. Get to the heart of the issue, dig to the core. By saying nothing else, and just that one thing that you wanna hear that triggers something from something like, ‘you look great tonight.’ Just words that mean everything; like a vision of cascading fresh spring waterfall drenched on an unearthly high spirited maiden from dreams.
That’s what point blank words mixed with a lack of words do. Only real things. Body, flesh, love, hands, saliva, spank, hold, taste. Go out and walk in nature during the day. Talk about nothing. Absolutely nothing. And when you do talk, say just the things that are honest
the only things that matter
like
you turn me on.

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