It’s you and me, and a whole bunch of nothing.
It’s you and me, and a whole bunch of nothing.
“Did you write this?” She asked him directly. In a surge of embarrassment, he walked away with a flushed face. She picked up her pace to match his quick steps. She touched his shoulder from behind and he shivered as he stopped. He placed his palms over his eyes. He wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.
“Why don’t you admit it?” She walked in front of him and drew his hands away. She looked at him. He looked at the ground.
“I’m sorry” he mumbled through clenched jaw. His breath left a trail of fog in the cold weather. His cheekbones were pink and his dark hair had subtle brown highlights that stood out against the snow filled background.
In a burst of anger she threw the secret love letter that she had found, at his face. He had written it for her, but had never intended for her to find out. He grimaced with pain inside as it brushed against his skin.
“Why didn’t you utter a word? Why were you so reserved all this time? Why did you pretend that you never cared?”
He was silent.
“Why don’t you look me in the eye? Why do you leave when I walk in? Why did you ignore me for so long? How could you deny that I had wanted you too? You’ve ruined my life!”
“I didn’t mean to” he said, “I didn’t want to hurt you. I never wanted you to find out, I didn’t want my feelings for you to ever end.”
“I don’t understand! Why couldn’t we be together? Why couldn’t we have gotten to know each other better? Lived happily ever after? You see, everything’s messed up now. I can never wake up and face the day without sensing that something is missing. I can never not think… about this, about you, about what you did! I’m forever trapped” she continued, “Because now it’s too late. I’m obligated to the future. I’m bound by societal rules and plans that have been made for me. I’m fixed into settling down and having a family with someone else” she placed her hands over her face and cried, “I can never be happy.”
He tried to touch her hand but she brushed it away. “Because of you!” she said through her teeth and with teary eyes, “Why didn’t you tell me all this when you could have? Three years of acquaintance and not a single word of truth from you! Why didn’t you tell me all this before I found someone else? It’s too late now. I could have been with you. My life’s an empty, meaningless, waste of time.”
“You’ll move on… eventually” he said.
“I’ll never move on. I’ll always be in love with you and never be able to be with you. I hate you because of that. It’s all your doing. You’ve played a game with my heart.”
“I promise you, that I didn’t mean to…”
“You’re admitting that it’s a game?”
“I suppose l…” he could barely say the word, “I suppose love is a game.”
“Then it isn’t true, is it? It’s not real, it’s just make-believe, like a game!”
“Can’t a game be for real? I engaged in it with all my heart, and I almost died because of it.”
“You can’t expect a game to last forever.”
“What meaning does forever carry?”
“What meaning does a moment carry?”
“Sometimes, it carries great depth.”
“Can’t a forever bond have depth too?”
“Then it wouldn’t have the length.”
“But momentary encounters are so sporadic, temporary, and heartbreaking. You’re left with shattered, empty, non-existent memories.”
“Are memories non-existent? Were all those feelings that once made your heart swoon, unreal? Are encounters make-believe? If so, is depth unreal?”
“Yes. The only thing that’s real is a forever and ongoing bond through time.”
“I wish that for you. I want you to feel, taste, and live in what’s real.”
“But I’m not happy in reality.”
“Then you’ll have to deal with heart-breaking encounters” he said as he kissed her. Soft snowflakes fell over them in their silent surrounding. They embraced for however long, before reality drifted them apart.
It was a fifteen minute of a far fetched reality
then a lifetime of impossibility
(Opinions as of 2017/03/31)
All things organic/inorganic are important for existence in this current state of “reality” in some form or another, and thus are inherently good.
Humans have something to offer to the planet, and the planet has something to offer to humans.
Women are important and bring something to the table, and men are equally important and bring something to the table.
Virtually all mammals, like us, are not lifelong monogamous. Around 80% of present day human societies in this world continue to be polygamous. Lifelong monogamy in a tolerant natural environment is pure fantasy.
–Similarity to other primates
Present day species that most closely resemble humans genetically and behaviorally are chimpanzees, and secondarily, gorillas. Chimps live in promiscuous fusion small group societies where members in the groups change continuously. Gorillas live in a relatively more stable, yet still, polygamous societies.
–Benefit of genetic diversity in offspring
If there comes a time in society where women are granted equal education, respect, and power as men, women shouldn’t be shamed in comparison to men for having children with multiple partners. Although physically, men can produce many kids while women can produce one child at a time in a much more delayed fashion; it’s still beneficial in terms of genetic diversity to have kids from multiple partners for both sexes.
–Having children young
If there comes a time in society where women are granted equal education, respect, and power as men, women shouldn’t be scared to have children young. Both women and men’s bodies are designed to have children early on, and fertility declines later on in life for both sexes.
–Genetic problems with inbreeding
Inbreeding is not common among animals. In the animal world, most offspring leave their birth group after they are mature enough to reproduce themselves. In chimpanzee groups, the female offspring leaves her birth group as soon as she reaches sexual maturity and moves on to associate with another group. Male chimps tend to stay in their original birth groups with other males, while the females tend to be more transient and transfer around. In several human societies consisting of small groups and villages, young women are married off to members of another village or outside their village because their entire village is considered family.
The concept of vast empires, large countries, and massive unions is too grand of a fantasy and ultimately breaks down in the natural world (example: the fall of the Soviet Union into different pieces, the European Union struggles, the United States of America having distinct states with distinct rules and regulations).
As social creatures, we have a need to interact with others. Thus, we are more connected to small groups and communities that are more within our reach in comparison to vast societies where we feel disconnected. Like other primates and our early human ancestors, we function well in small groups and societies– hence the existence of thousands and thousands of various ethnic groups, social groups, and communities throughout the world. In small groups, everyone has roles and duties. Everyone is busy and has a legitimate essential role; a purpose. Once people feel that they have a purpose, they are less depressed and happier.
What happened due time? Like rapid fire, technology in humans advanced much faster than the human biology. We are practically the same people that existed thousands of years ago without the internet. From small groups; where each one of us had a role to stay alive, we’ve now created massive societies where we’re out of touch with where food comes from. We are more confused about who we are, what our purpose is, and why we’re just sitting here eating to stay alive. We get up to do some made up exercise routine in the treadmill to mimic physical exhaustion to feel alive. Sooner or later, automation and robotics will be doing all the essential survival duties that humans need to do; and it can possibly leave us feeling like our existence is becoming more and more meaningless.
According to science, primates originated from Africa then spread outwards. We are all omnivores and can practically eat anything–just like pigs (whom we share a whopping 98% common DNA with). Apes, specifically, have a plant-based diet consisting of whatever that’s edible and available in tropical forests. Eating insects is also a very common source of protein. Many aboriginal and indigenous human societies that still exist continue to eat insects as a normal part of their diet. Killing large mammals for food evolved later on as humans migrated outwards onto harsher climates and developed tools and technology.
Religion, morality, and politics are all subjective and are thus imaginary.
The fact that humans have only been in existence for such a short time in this planet since its formation, and to see how much societies have changed back and forth throughout history—from being liberal to conservative and from being conservative to liberal in terms of their opinions on laws and morality– shows that our biological/fundamental selves has not changed that much in comparison to our beliefs and values. Moral concepts are ALWAYS subject to change, so one should never try to perfect themselves to match these flawed standards that are based on subjective imaginary beliefs of others.
Thus, listen to your gut. Your instinct is the closest to god you’ll ever get.
Where are you? Transcended, in and out of it, intoxicated, delirious, somewhere far and away, in Neptune, spinning in a circle, but apparently sitting right here, eyes closed.