Choosing to be present

I went through a state of extreme confusion, frustration, and subtle fear. What is it that I want? What should I seek? How should I be?

These series of confusing pieces just kept piling up with more and more questions, and less and less answers. I felt trapped and it felt horrible,

Until I decided to drop my shoulders.

Suddenly, the only thing I felt was the comfort from my relaxed neck muscles. I felt happy. All illusionary problems disappeared. Being present felt better. Being present was a choice.

How awesome it is to let it just be, and to let yourself feel what you feel, when you simply choose to be primitive.

Lost, Low

I’m suffocating my love, in delusions and illusions. There’s a northern fog that looms inside the empty vessels, that navigate towards my heart.
I reach out my hand; but the window panes get in the way. I’m dying my love, bit by bit,
My heart breaks, bit by bit.
In fragments I recall vague, sunny days filled with beautiful colors,
Of vibrant blue skies and tropical birds, faraway.
But before my eyes, the bare branches remind me of the leaves which have fallen,
like me,
And while shedding, I’m left dying with pale skin.
Is this what misery is?
To never be able to touch a sweet memory
To never be able to taste a pleasant tune
To want to laugh but to be unable to move, talk, shout
To never be able to capture the essence of you,
In a jar, forever.