It’s two hundred thousand years later
And I think about you
Where you roamed, what you saw, what you felt
How you lived.
I look at my hands, and notice that they’re so pristine. Yours must have been bruised, and maybe the lines that run across your palms were darker.
Hello from the future. We’re stuck in a rut out here. There’s a lot of people who choose to ignore it and are completely happy living mechanical lives because they don’t, for some delusional reason, find it mechanical. But I don’t know why I’m not happy with it. I think it’s a small percentage of us who are not so happy with it. I don’t know what this percentage is, maybe twenty-five? Maybe even less? I have no idea, I haven’t done a methodological statistical analysis on it. But I’m guessing that it’s a few. Did you like the feel of touch way-back-when? Me too. See, we haven’t diverged too far off.
You know, I have a crush on a guy who existed over a hundred years ago. I’ve been reading his writings, and it’s reaffirmed my suspicion that people of the past were, actually, just like us today. Hard to believe since the believer in me used to think that we are so special because there’s a lot of new weird things happening that’s never happened before. But this progress… as they say, always sucked. Even in the past it sucked. But to be clear, it’s not even about what sucked, it’s this rate of sucking; this relative change from the baseline, that sucks, and that is exactly the same as the sucking that’s going on right now. We’re talking about the amazon jungles being destroyed, but we have no idea how WILD New York City must have looked before it got turned into a concrete jungle.
Progress, as they say… it was always coming, it’s still coming they say, as we watch structures getting stacked before us one at a time. This exponential fast rise of… what? We “progress” and forget the trail we leave behind. So where are we headed anyway… building concrete jungles one after another. They worried about conservation in the past as they inhaled coal during the industrial revolution, and some of us still give a damn today. So how are we any different than those who complained about progress, and how are those in support of progress any different than the delusional happy people we meet today who love a nice smooth oiled up car that runs fast and a nice cup of cheap labor coffee from Starbucks? But what can you do? It’s herd mentality. They talked about stupidity in the past, but it’s trickery more than anything. Maybe trickery is stupidity. You go to the grocery store and think your milk comes from there. It’s not your fault anyway. Just go with the flow. Go home, watch a mystery show, eat chicken wings and get fat. Get everything sterilized, get more immunocompromised and survive through life in a much more complicated fashion even though it doesn’t make sense, but then simplicity didn’t make sense, did it? That’s why everything’s so complex and confusing today. Why does it matter anyway, it’s too complicated and irrelevant to me me me now now now! Just go with the flow. Everybody’s doing it. And those who aren’t finding satisfaction from it are the unhappy ones, and they’ll be the ones taking antidepressants anyway. The sweet smell of progress! The wonderful scent of dead skin leather, the funny crunchy taste of popcorn chicken. That goofy animal label, it’s so cute! Let’s sit near the gas run heater, open up our devices and go somewhere else in our minds. Checked out. Lost. Even more confused. Oh happy life.
I feel like you’re taking my asset for your gain
The air I breathe, what I feel, what I eat,
All for your profit
And it annoys and aggravates me
He had a pretty shitty job on the side while he was studying in college. He worked just because it was something to do. He sat in the boring college newspaper office and attempted to organize several articles together. One day, a new girl started work. She walked into the office and passed by his desk. He looked up and saw that she was wearing a pretty tight-fitting outfit that highlighted her curves quite well. After he lost sight of her, he went back to look at his computer screen. Few minutes later, she came back near his area to discuss tasks with the supervisor. He finally saw her face clearly and thought that it was okay. It was the best thing that was happening at work for him anyway. He overheard her asking a lot of questions and thought that she was taking this stupid job a little too seriously than he ever would. When she went back to her desk, she passed by him and he greeted her with a smile. She greeted him back.
A few days later, he was out in the work hallway getting a soft drink from the vending machine. He hoped that it would keep him from falling asleep in that meaningless part-time job. Right then, she opened the door and walked into that empty hallway where he was standing. They greeted each other with a hi. She searched inside her purse and discovered that she had a twenty dollar bill for the machine and it only accepted change. She asked if he had change, and he did. He grabbed his wallet and they exchanged bills.
A few weeks later, she discovered that he was very funny and charming. She laughed at all his jokes. He liked that his hours at the pathetic job was moving by faster, so he kept the jokes coming no matter how bad he felt that they really were. One day, he suggested that they go out across the street and grab a quick sandwich for lunch. She happily agreed and they walked together. While walking, she wondered if strangers saw them as a couple. She was Hispanic, curvy, and her name was Nina. He didn’t know much else about her. He was just an average privileged American who was paying for college through a fund his parents set up for him. While they sat eating their sandwiches together, he told her about his parent’s business and his lust for antique cars. The most that he learned about her was that her parents were migrant workers. She didn’t say anything else, so they shifted the topic to talk about a recent bar that opened up nearby. He asked if she’s interested in joining him there that weekend, but she hesitated and said that bars were not her thing. The more she resisted, the more he attempted to get her to come. She finally agreed, and they set a date to meet.
She parked her mediocre car at the bar’s parking lot and waited for him to arrive that weekend. He arrived with two other of his guy friends. She felt awkward at first, but stood by his side after greeting them. During much of the night, she just remained by his side. She even wiped his forehead once with her hand, but he was already too drunk to notice it by then. The guys played pool at the pool table and she just watched them. He asked her if she wanted to play too, but she hesitated because she wasn’t good. Once his friends got tired of the game, they left the pool area and moved on to fish for girls near the bar. She took the opportunity to grab a pool stick and played goofily by herself. He drank from his bottle and smiled at her with reddened eyes. He walked closer to the pool table where she was and stopped when their bodies touched. She turned her neck around and felt the warmth of his face near hers. She smiled after meeting her eyes with his. Slowly, he turned her body around and placed her gently on the edge of the pool table. He delicately caressed her as she gently embraced him. They kissed softly. She was a good kisser, and she kept him on the edge of wanting more. She fell very much in love with him from that night onwards.
She believed that they were in a relationship in the next coming weeks, but he didn’t behave like an ideal boyfriend. Firstly, his jokes started to get a little too demeaning, and then his playful horsing around started to get a bit too rough. She continued to accept it, nonetheless. He then started calling her less, and eventually he stopped. Luckily, she was able to read between the lines and realized that he no longer had an interest in her. She was bitter yet adamant when she decided for herself that she would let him go completely and move on, even though it was hard.
Eleven years later and with a two-year-old son and a trophy wife under his belt, he came home from work one day and learned that his wife had just hired a small cleaning company to help her out with the home chores. It was their first new house together, and it was too large for them to handle all of it. What happened next was due to the trick of time, or something of that sort. One day, when he was sitting comfortably at home, a cleaning employee walked into the living room with a bright green shirt and a name tag that read “Gina.” Her skin was slightly rough and her body was curvaceous. He smiled back at her radiant greeting smile as she plugged in the vacuum and went at it. Another weekend later, his family went out to shop but he stayed back home and looked out the living-room window while Gina cleaned and sang Latin pop songs upstairs. A few months later, when his kid was sleeping and his wife was running errands outside, he accidently bumped into Gina when she turned around with a duster in one hand. The duster hit his chest and dust floated all around them. Gina apologized and tried to dust off his chest frantically with her other hand. He gripped her hand and almost pinned her against the wall and let it loose, but instead, he looked into her large eyes and sternly told her that it was okay. He walked out and closed the door behind him, wondering when. He knew enough to know that it will.
It happened when his family went to see their grandparents. Gina’s hair, all tangled up between his fingers and against the wall. She had luscious and persistent lips. He reached his hands towards her chest and caressed her nametag engraved with Gina, over and over again. He couldn’t wipe it out. He couldn’t erase her out. What was he wanting? Something despicable, pathetic, and cowardly. Gina with her sunburnt migrant skin, and flashes of Nina working hard through college. Back sweat and slippery skin. It was pathetic, these wretched beings. These imbeciles; the mediocre and the absurd. Gina’s soft flesh; naked and kind. Unseen damages and reckless behaviors. Unpronounceable words and lack of vocabulary. He hated it all. But she matched his rhythm, and he liked this. Out of breath and out of wit, he despised these people. Their back-breaking labor and lack of charm. He despised himself as Gina smiled.
There was no tomorrow after those few hours. He looked at the setting sun from the sofa as Gina tried to catch her breath, leaning against it. With the grasp of the darkness approaching, he had to bundle it all up; all these vile and senseless things, and throw it out. He wrote her a large sum from his checkbook before terminating her employment. Inane, scums of the earth, witless and far beneath him. Laborers and fools with ratchet dreams that were no match for his game. She took his check and her clothes and walked out. He watched her, the temptress and the goddess beyond his will. He watched her fade into the dark; out the door, out of his world and never to return again, while his gut howled in agony.
Months came, and years came too, and soon he saw himself as wrinkly and old. The seasons were lackluster and cold as all the colors faded out of his heart and his skin, and the money kept pouring into his pockets and made things heavier and more binding. Thoughts of disobedience and frenzy became ever so far; untouchable, unfathomable, unrealistic, and unkind. All things turned bland and left him high and dry like a piece of white paper paycheck floating up in air, who knows where, emotionless, full of ego, pride,
and full of regrets for never doing the basic things
the sweet things
that could have been
like way-back-when in college, before things got ever so complex and numb,
as he barely recollected flashes of Nina’s fledgling pride, her far-fetched hopes of becoming a journalist one day, her sincere smile and her innocent laugh,
just once more, he wished, with his half closed eyes.
(Opinions as of 2017/03/31)
All things organic/inorganic are important for existence in this current state of “reality” in some form or another, and thus are inherently good.
Humans have something to offer to the planet, and the planet has something to offer to humans.
Women are important and bring something to the table, and men are equally important and bring something to the table.
Virtually all mammals, like us, are not lifelong monogamous. Around 80% of present day human societies in this world continue to be polygamous. Lifelong monogamy in a tolerant natural environment is pure fantasy.
–Similarity to other primates
Present day species that most closely resemble humans genetically and behaviorally are chimpanzees, and secondarily, gorillas. Chimps live in promiscuous fusion small group societies where members in the groups change continuously. Gorillas live in a relatively more stable, yet still, polygamous societies.
–Benefit of genetic diversity in offspring
If there comes a time in society where women are granted equal education, respect, and power as men, women shouldn’t be shamed in comparison to men for having children with multiple partners. Although physically, men can produce many kids while women can produce one child at a time in a much more delayed fashion; it’s still beneficial in terms of genetic diversity to have kids from multiple partners for both sexes.
–Having children young
If there comes a time in society where women are granted equal education, respect, and power as men, women shouldn’t be scared to have children young. Both women and men’s bodies are designed to have children early on, and fertility declines later on in life for both sexes.
–Genetic problems with inbreeding
Inbreeding is not common among animals. In the animal world, most offspring leave their birth group after they are mature enough to reproduce themselves. In chimpanzee groups, the female offspring leaves her birth group as soon as she reaches sexual maturity and moves on to associate with another group. Male chimps tend to stay in their original birth groups with other males, while the females tend to be more transient and transfer around. In several human societies consisting of small groups and villages, young women are married off to members of another village or outside their village because their entire village is considered family.
The concept of vast empires, large countries, and massive unions is too grand of a fantasy and ultimately breaks down in the natural world (example: the fall of the Soviet Union into different pieces, the European Union struggles, the United States of America having distinct states with distinct rules and regulations).
As social creatures, we have a need to interact with others. Thus, we are more connected to small groups and communities that are more within our reach in comparison to vast societies where we feel disconnected. Like other primates and our early human ancestors, we function well in small groups and societies– hence the existence of thousands and thousands of various ethnic groups, social groups, and communities throughout the world. In small groups, everyone has roles and duties. Everyone is busy and has a legitimate essential role; a purpose. Once people feel that they have a purpose, they are less depressed and happier.
What happened due time? Like rapid fire, technology in humans advanced much faster than the human biology. We are practically the same people that existed thousands of years ago without the internet. From small groups; where each one of us had a role to stay alive, we’ve now created massive societies where we’re out of touch with where food comes from. We are more confused about who we are, what our purpose is, and why we’re just sitting here eating to stay alive. We get up to do some made up exercise routine in the treadmill to mimic physical exhaustion to feel alive. Sooner or later, automation and robotics will be doing all the essential survival duties that humans need to do; and it can possibly leave us feeling like our existence is becoming more and more meaningless.
According to science, primates originated from Africa then spread outwards. We are all omnivores and can practically eat anything–just like pigs (whom we share a whopping 98% common DNA with). Apes, specifically, have a plant-based diet consisting of whatever that’s edible and available in tropical forests. Eating insects is also a very common source of protein. Many aboriginal and indigenous human societies that still exist continue to eat insects as a normal part of their diet. Killing large mammals for food evolved later on as humans migrated outwards onto harsher climates and developed tools and technology.
Religion, morality, and politics are all subjective and are thus imaginary.
The fact that humans have only been in existence for such a short time in this planet since its formation, and to see how much societies have changed back and forth throughout history—from being liberal to conservative and from being conservative to liberal in terms of their opinions on laws and morality– shows that our biological/fundamental selves has not changed that much in comparison to our beliefs and values. Moral concepts are ALWAYS subject to change, so one should never try to perfect themselves to match these flawed standards that are based on subjective imaginary beliefs of others.
Thus, listen to your gut. Your instinct is the closest to god you’ll ever get.
If I’ve failed in social life, let me at least pass math
Maybe I am that person who walked out of the gathering early
Maybe I’m forever doomed to be an anomaly
Too honest amongst a hoard of fake smiles
Yet guarded enough to be confusing
And sensitive enough to be a diva.