The voice tells me to get into the elevator and to go to a certain floor. I do so as told. Instinct tells me to walk down the hallway. There’s promise of a grand prize; the greatest thing, the highest goal. There’s supposed to be something that I’ve always wanted at the finish. I’m told to open the door. I do so.
And there you stand, behind that door
wearing a black and white tuxedo. Your chiseled face looking even sharper against the shadows. Your creamy skin and shiny hair, contrasting each other. Your glass-like eyes, contracting in the spotlight directed at you.
You are fully attentive and looking at me,
but with a look of worry. Wordlessly, you give a notion that you want me back, that you’re begging for me now. That you’re willing to disregard everything for me and that I could too, for you.
But there’s something unkind, untrustworthy, and cold about this whole new setup. There’s doubt brewing in my gut.
There’s an uneven tune playing in my ears.
And there’s a sad, tragic, unstoppable feeling,
that I wished it were true.
I see you friend, across the ocean as you great me hello. Your sight is an emollient to my bleeding soul. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than to be here near you. To watch your happy smile from afar when you see me, as I wipe my tears and smile when I see you. I get that “life is what you make of it,” but it’s really hard right now. I need not explain it because you understand. We don’t say much, but we play all the time. We swim in circles and fly with the waves. Our sanguine hearts synchronized. Our parallel joys and matched enthusiasm, immeasurable. There’s no exclusive devotion between you and I. No ownership of a lover, nor expectations from family. It’s an infinite love and infinite circle of inclusion. Cheerful childish fun and sheer sincerity. The world is our playground, and laughter is our religion. Your shadow is the spirit of god. Your presence is freedom to my life. So I dedicate my heart to you, my dear friend. And I’ll say goodbye to you as the sun sets, as I see you swim away in the reflections of my tear. ‘Till tomorrow, or whenever I may or may not see you again. I hope you know that I’m with you in spirit, in the form of an angel.