In colors, smeared all over your face
Colors dusted on your clothes
I want you shaking off swamp waters
And dripping holy sweat
I want to line your face
From your eyes to your ears
In black kohl
I wanna put you where you belong
On a pedestal chair overlooking
Ripped scraps and banana peels
I wanna get down on my knees and worship you
It’s you and me, and a whole bunch of nothing.
Wrapped up in you
Wrapped in foils of shining colors
That turn, and shift, and turn
Rotating in the sphere of you
Immersed in pieces
Resting near your heart
Whispering your name
And in heaven
I’ll take you with me
And you, and you, and you
All you collective souls
Who’ve made me
On the green grass, breathing in nature, during the sunny daytime, with you
On the courtyard, hearing the insects, under the moonlit starry nighttime, with you
To not be with you
To not tear your skin open
To not devour your soul
While the clock ticks tick tock
It’s useless; every other emotion
that I’m feeling right now.
I don’t know where to find you.
I’m lost again.
I’m seeking beyond the pages printed with dry scientific words. I’m skimming through the shopping catalog plastered with fake beautiful faces.
It’s faster than the car ride that can’t seem to fly higher; tastier than a meal that just can’t satisfy.
This hunger, for strictly you.
smaller than a molecule in the furthest corner of a parallel, deep, dark universe. So much further than tomorrow morning
so nonexistent right now.
This night is cursed and callous,
Everything chokes of dust and death. My throat is calcified, and my skin is pale. I try and try to leave this place
but it’s in my face
like a wall of bricks. I stop and search across it with my fingers.
I don’t know where else to look from here. I’m standing, but I’m so quiet and small.
I’m a blind mice
running down a maze engineered with high walls. Speculated by scientists and the good citizens of the world.
I feel trapped
as if I’m crushed under a ton of weight.
There’s void; monochrome nothingness in my pitch black eyes.
This inevitable, hungry, saddening
That I can’t find you.