“I hope you know that I’m in love with you, deeply. I have a gut feeling that we’re meant to be; the planets align, the stars are giving a sign. Don’t deny it, I know you love me. You’re my girl, my soulmate, my reason. I can sense it in my core,” he said that night right before she broke up with him. She believed that he was too crazy, while she was much more pragmatic. She didn’t think that she was playing with his heart; her intentions had always been honest. She just knew that it wouldn’t work out in the long run. She wanted to end it before it got too far and turned into a disaster. He told her that it had already gotten too far, and that it couldn’t just be dropped. However, he compromised that if it was her decision, he had no choice but to try to somehow move on, knowing very well that he could never fall in love like that again. He could forgive her, but he couldn’t himself. He cursed at fate, the stars, and the heavens above, but never at her.
Twenty years had gone by. She still thought about him from time to time. In fact, she felt his presence all the time. The truth was that she never let him go. It was not her choice. It was the arms of invisible time holding her down, making her stay in the same place in her head, repeating scenes over and over. He jolted her heart, but who knew that it’d sway for twenty years? Twenty more? Would he be there in another life, waiting for her with his arms wide open? Such bliss, she thought, away from this treacherous world.
She threw pieces of bread to ducks swimming in the pond. She was alongside her friend whose children were laughing and playing nearby.
“You look so dreamy and lost. Are you in loveee?” Her friend joked with her eyes gleaming.
She smiled. “When am I not?”
“Oh really? How do you know it’s love?”
“When he finds joy in putting you before him, when you know that he could never hurt you,” she spoke absentmindedly.
Her friend quietly looked away and threw a piece of bread to the ducks. In the background they could hear the children shouting. The friend turned around and asked her a billion more questions. None of which she wanted to answer, none of which she could answer.